Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
