Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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