Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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