He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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