He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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