I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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