i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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