my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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