please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
