You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you would pick up someone in the library
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
