Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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