Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
