he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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