Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize