I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
