i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
