she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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