I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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