This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
