when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
