thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
