Im at strip club and am horny
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
