It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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