matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
