Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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