would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
