im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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