When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
PANTIES FOUND
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