some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
