i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize