Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
