I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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