chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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