i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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