in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
