i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
