8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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