Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
