it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
