OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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