while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
