So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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