remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
