my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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