Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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