Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
