I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
