Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize