So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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