Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
