if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
