i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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