Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
