After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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