I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
