If i come over, it means nothing
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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