Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
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