I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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