Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
