It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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